Wow, that was me ! This is me ?
It really has been a long time since i have written anything for my own consumption. I believe, it is more for my own benefit that i better record the sequence of mega events which transpired and affected not just me but a whole big section of a specific community . The concept is still the same, I ramble about what I learnt and feel good about it now, and later on it serves as a guide to what I was before thereby making it a benchmark. I may not ever be so centrally involved in something like this, so it may be safe to say that it could be the biggest dent i could have made in the scheme of things. It is also important to note that this time, for a change, i involuntarily experienced the events as if behind someone else’s eyeballs, i thought the thoughts from between ears which were not my own. All this happened with me right in the middle of it.
Confidence, sophistication, pride and calmness is what i promise to bring to the table when i take ownership of any project. It is so important for me to stick to those silly notions that i work 16 hours a day and sacrifice almost everything for them. So important that, i suspect, i think my work is my happiness. If i hear a client say that they never heard of such quick timelines and complex executions, i and tell them “You will see” with a wink. If they say that their experts can’t solve the problem, i jump with joy and tell them how i can and at half the price. You see, it is the excitement and adventure of being an entrepreneur in the world of high stake finance and technology which has kept me away from noticing everything else in my life. When you zoom from one firefighting exersize to the other it becomes routine. Your everyday conversations with friends tend to become awkward, you don’t really relate with them anymore. They talk about things like TV shows, Cricket and Movies while i stay stuck up trying to figure who will make the next killer technology and with what business model. I admit, what i have written above will sound to be highly self centered and glorifying to some, but it is the sad truth when one does nothing else but compete with himself 24 hours a day 6 days a week.
Without mentioning any details, we did something big and perhaps it will become a milestone in history. As things normally go with me, something became a “big” crisis and i suddenly was in the shoes of the people who were affected. I couldn’t speak for half a second, i felt sweat and disillusionment. Did i really do that ?
What surprised me was my own sense of taking control. Instead of falling apart, my autopilot kicked in and i got back into my own head. I was committed to get the people ,who i got into the crisis, back into sanity and into safe woods. It was really amazing watching yourself being brave. The feeling rubs off, we were mentally prepared for selling everything off our backs but at the same time we were all proud of what we did. Imagine being prepared to face worst of consequences, then by the virtue of something you did, you get off the hook. We went from doors to doors from offices to offices being confident and brave, so much to the effect of getting everyone to our side. They thought “hey, these guys are so sure, they can’t be wrong”. After 50 hours of constant working and negotiating we were in calm waters. The whole experience seems like a blur and i don’t think i have ever handled myself like this before.
It is at times like these, i realize that the happiness in work that i seek both got me in and out of the trouble. Maybe this is the kind of leap you take to understand that sometimes actions are the only real thing with nothing of it really affecting the global reality. The outcomes really are illusions and we fool ourselves by linking them to our actions. In the longer run, the way you learn to learn things from inference is the only tool you need.
I have been up straight 4 days. Will come back with a sane post.
